Happy Birthday, Aaron Mahaley

23 years ago, I became a mom for the first time.  It was the first and only time in my life that I recall feeling 100% sure that every single little thing was as it should be.  This tiny little person was absolutely perfect and I could not have loved him one ounce more than I already did.  Being Aaron’s mom has been quite a ride.  I have agonized over him, ignored him, over-indulged him, and threatened to have him arrested.  I think most of it comes with the territory of being a parent – but he definitely brought his personal set of challenges. We dubbed him our “complex carbohydrate.”  He has  taught me a lot about kids and growing up – stuff that has helped me help other parents who are stumped by their kids.

Being Aaron’s mom, has affirmed for me that love wins. Love prevails and it is the single most important thing that we give to our children – unconditional, unending, unhidden love…not money for bail or booze, not approval for any and all shenanigans, not permission to be a jerk – but love that demonstrates kindness and respect.  The kind of love Steve and I were both lucky enough to grow up witnessing.  Here’s to my baby being able to create it in his future.

Black Friday

It’s the Friday afternoon after Thanksgiving and I am still in my pajamas.  Not back in my pajamas – I said STILL in my pajamas.  That’s because Thanksgiving wore me out.  It wore me out just the way it’s supposed to.  We (there were ten in all around my table) enjoyed a home-cooked meal that included three casseroles, two vegetables, two kinds of cranberry sauce (not including the mandatory pink stuff which has nary a cranberry in it), mashed potatoes and gravy, oh and a roasted turkey with a side of ham. Did I forget to mention the deviled eggs?  And pie – of course there was home-made pie.  Pie day happens on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Pie Day includes myself and a dear friend wearing crazy aprons while we churn out four pies – two pecan, one pumpkin and an apple.  It is one of my favorite holiday traditions because she and I don’t get to see each other that often, but we count on Pie Day.  All in our, including Pie Day, our feast took about 20 man hours to prepare.  It was worth every second even if it is a heck of a lot work.

The preparations start with lists and food shopping, stirring and baking, and then peeling and chopping, and roasting and timing, and washing a mountains of pots and pans.  There’s china and tea cups and a real tablecloth.  There are pounds of butter, pints of cream, and more pecans than I can count.  I absolutely love Thanksgiving because it is THE holiday steeped in traditional recipes indulged in the company of family and dear friends- a full day set aside to give  thanks, share memories and make new ones.  And it has nothing to do with shopping.

The fact that the holiday has become so focused on the deal hunting crazy antics of shoppers and retailers makes me beyond sad.  I’m mournful for all the people who cannot enjoy the holiday because they have to work in order to open the stores earlier and earlier – cutting all the way into the day of thanks that is supposed to be set aside. C’mon America, why not Black Saturday?  Then we could all enjoy our holiday, recover, enjoy a few leftovers and then venture out to shop – if we must.  At least that would allow the retailers to breath and close long enough for a full day off.  I wonder if Nate Silver could make a prediction about the positive effects of the country taking a pajama day…

Reefer-endums and the anti-tax mentality

Election Day 2012 has finally passed and I think I speak for many when I say, “Hallelujah it’s over!” My stress level from October 3 – November 6 was through the roof. Actually, on November 5th, I had a very clear vision about what would happen if Mitt Romney won the election. My vision actually gave me a lot of peace of mind because I realized that if the Republicans took the Presidency, Democrats would most likely win back the House and keep Congress and nothing much would change – at least nothing would change very fast. I also remembered my thoughts about Mitt-ens years ago – thoughts that were very similar to my current thoughts about Chris Christie. “That guy is pretty moderate and doesn’t seem likely to be a crazy, gun-blazing conservative.” This country stays up and running thanks to a balance of power and once again, the country has voted to keep things in check. Several states went Blue for Obama and then sent a Republican to the House. Go figure. I hope the next election cycle brings out more productive debate and discourse about real issues, based on facts, not sound bites. The American public really needs to process and comprehend some of the extremely complex issues we face. As we teachers are learning, the best way to really comprehend something is to talk about it. Speaking of complex issues….

Let’s take legalizing marijuana, as one example. Way to go Colorado, Washington State and Oregon – way cool, dudes! One of the last conversations I had with my dad before he passed away was about the logic of legalizing marijuana, the wasted money spent on catching growers and millions of dollars funneled to drug lords mostly in Mexico, that could be taxed. He likened the laws against marijuana to Prohibition and was completely in support of legalizing the sale of it. Dad never stopped surprising me especially since that was not at all his attitude in say, 1979 – ’nuff said.

Locally, Alamance County, in my blushing Red State of NC, voted down a referendum to add .025% sales tax to increase the county’s revenues, yet passed the referendum to expand the campus of the community college. Hmmm…wonder how they think that will get paid for? This takes me back to one of the main frustrating points of the presidential divide – so many people who benefit from the services the government provides – health care for vets, medicare for the elderly, social security, even the use of roads and airports run by the FAA – balk at paying taxes. Where do you imagine the money is going to come from? People speak of it as “I don’t want to give my hard earned money to the government.” Yo, dudes, wake up – the government is not some separate entity. We are the government. “By the people, for the people, of the people.” If you want to control the money we collective contribute to form a perfect union, run for office – go ahead. Personally I am too tired and busy, but I am thankful there are those who aren’t too tired, who are called to do it. Complain about them all you want, but from the looks of all of us fat and happy Americans, so far, so good.

Hats off to Chris Christie

My heart goes out to the residents of New Jersey, New York and Pennsylvania in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. Densely populated areas don’t often have to deal with the mad wrath of a hurricane, let alone one mixed up with an arctic cold front. So, when I heard our President offer his help and support, I wondered how all this would play out given the recent Republican stumping and stomping the Governor has offered to Romney. In his remarks today, Chris Christie won back my respect.

He had lost it with his remarks that “Obama is blindly searching for the light of leadership.” Honestly, I don’t think Barack was “groping in the dark” when he made the call to take out Bin Laden – a move I happen to disagree with, but one that showed incredible resolve and bravery when making the call. Leaders make the call. I don’t think Obama was “lost in indecision” when he negotiated the largest health care reform law in recent history – again, I personally believe he should have held his ground a little more to keep the mandate stronger, but it was a step. Leaders step. And I don’t think he was “the worse leader in history” when he decided to help the American Auto industry – though, I really wished he had crippled the banks and hope like hell there is litigation to bring the financial institutions to justice for how THEY caused the recession.  Ah, different rant.

So, when Christie took all these opportunities to berate and belittle my president who I think has accomplished much and stands for even more, I was put out with NJ’s Gov.

But this week, Christie stood up to the reporters and gave praise where praise was due, put partisan politics aside, and said that the people of New Jersey come first.  When he said he doesn’t “give a damn right now about a presidential election, and if you think I do, you don’t know me! ” –  he won me back – just a little.

RandomThoughts for a Thursday

First random thought: Someone once said to me, “Only you, Allison. Your whole life reads like a sit com script.” One day last week, I had to agree. Sit com moment, you ask? I was leaving a meeting held in a remodeled school building (Sellar’s Gunn for my ABSS peeps) late one afternoon last week. I had to walk down a ramp that was adjacent to an indoor cement stairwell. As I headed out the door, I pulled my iPhone from my back pocket to see if I might be able to catch my intercontinental husband before he called it a night. “Swoop,” out of my pocket and “bam” – onto the cloth doormat. “Thank you, Jesus!” I said out loud as it came to a rest with only a corner hanging over the edge of the concrete precipice. Lucky me! I leaned over to pick it up, feeling very lucky indeed when all of a sudden, water poured over my shoulder and onto my head. That’ll wake you up! Just as I realized that building was not leaking and remembered that I had a cup of refreshing water in the outside pocket of my very trendy, super-duper, organizing tote, the very cup which was the source of my wetness succumbed to gravity and bounced down the stairs – echoing my shame and embarrassment like crashing cymbals…cue laugh track.

Second random thought: Time Warner Cable is going to lose all its business and go bankrupt – at least that is what I hope. It took me over an hour last night to order cable. An hour of my life! A very nice young man explained all the packages to me and finally believed me when I said for the fifth time that I only want basic cable and ShowTime (I am in serious Dexter withdrawal). He quoted me all these prices and we agreed and I was only about twenty minutes into the call, when he said he was going to transfer me to installation to get that scheduled. I asked him where he was physically located. Pakistan. Fascinating. He was far more polite and helpful than the grumpy puss I spoke to at Target this week who told me to “Hollon – who do you wanna talk to?” “Did I dial Target?”

Anyway, I kept my cool until installation asked me all the exact same questions I had just answered, and then told me that in order to actually watch cable or ShowTime on any of my TVs, I have to rent a cable box from TWC for an additional $10 per month per box. So, how can they quote me a price, and then say, that doesn’t include the box? It’s like saying, “This is the price of your dinner. But you must rent the plate for us to serve it on for an additional fee.” If and when there is an alternative…

Third and final random thought: Four dudes and two trucks came to bring our belongs home last week. Between the four of them, in the seven hours they were here, they must have accepted a minimum of 25 personal calls on their cell phones. Granted, a few of the calls happened on their breaks, but at one point, they were hauling my grandmother’s antique sofa up the stairs, when I hear one of them say, “Hang on, man, I gotta take this.” This guy was talking to his wife. At first, I was understanding, then I realized, if this keeps up, they are not going to finish today. Believe me, it’s not the kids who are addicted to being connected – it’s the whole lot of us. Three out of four of these guys was over 30, and it seemed like they were all talking to their wives. Good Lord! – what happened to “being at work?”

Cleaning House

Yesterday, two – yes, two, moving vans arrived at my home and delivered all my stuff.   I honestly prefer to call it crap at this point.  Two vans full of things I don’t really need because I have been living in this house with empty rooms and no where really comfortable to sit, for two months.  Two whole months and I am fine.  Fine without the weight of all these belongings – all these things – things to make my life easier, more entertaining, more comfortable. I have a bread maker, a juicer, an ice cream freezer, an electric skillet and two sets of cookware and three coffee-makers…not even counting the one still in London.  I own three sets of china as well as everyday dishes and let’s not even count flatware.  There are now four sofas in this house, four desks, and five book cases.  You get the picture.

I just moved all my posts from Indie-Albany to this blog and re-read, “Its the people, not the things.”  I must concur with me.

The funny thing is, a whole lot of my things are about the people.  We have tea cups from every grandmother; a stamp collection from my father-in-law; the bread machine was actually a gift from my dad so I might not ever part with it; there’s china from both a grandmother and my parents – it simply goes on and on.  Half the exhaustion I feel is from visiting with all the ghosts, all the people I love and remember and no longer have in my daily life: only the things they left behind.  I miss them and touching the mementos forces me to remember…

Warning – a rant follows

Talking to my mom last night, she shared with me the latest horrible reality TV show she had watched.  Celebrity wives had planned a gourmet party for their dogs.  They hired two chefs, flew in Kobe beef, set up tables with china and linen table clothes for dogs.  Now, I am not a dog-hater.  I think it is great when people treat their animals well and love them.  I admit I cringe a bit when dogs get treated like children, especially when I think that the inverse is also true.  What has galled me is the gluttony – the unabashed flagrant and disgusting gluttony of spending tens of thousands of dollars on a dog party.  When people can “afford” to that, I think it is the inverse of a Facebook post that is circulating: “If you can afford to have a tattoo, buy cigarettes, and beer then you don’t need food stamps.”  So inversely, if you can afford to throw a party for your dog that includes Kobe beef, you don’t deserve a lower tax rate than the teachers, firefighters, and police to provide the underpinnings for our society.

There are starving, needy children – human children, close by, who could have been helped with that money.